The Center of the Universe

Our marriage is the center of our family. And our kiddos are like little satellites orbiting around us.

HubbyHubby and I have three school-age girls. We both work and have full lives.

When the girls were 1, 3 and 5, we started getting babysitters for date night. At first, the girls did not like Mommy and Daddy going out. We kept our dates short, and made sure the girls had a great sitter and lots of fun activities planned.

Can you go out with your hubby this Friday? You've got little babies at home? No problem.

Plan a special something for your hubby:

• Put the little ones to bed and make a simple romantic picnic with candles.
• Light candles and rub your hubby's shoulders or feet.
• Have a popcorn-and-movie night with your hubby.

Start a list of ways to carve out special time for your marriage every day. 

You can do it. And don't forget the panties!

My Hero, Part II

Here are a dozen more times when I told HubbyHubby he was my hero:

1.  He unloaded the dishwasher.

2.  He made the bed.

3.  He took the kids on a bike ride and swimming.

4.  He had a hugely successful business meeting with a client.

5.  He scheduled a camping vacation for the family.

6.  He volunteered to be a chaperone for the 4th-grade field trip.

7.  He balanced the checkbook and shared the budget with me.

8.  He organized the garage.

9.  He read a bedtime story to our 1st-grader.

10.  He swinged on the hammock with me after dinner and we listened to the kids play.

11.  He listened to our 2nd-grader read.

12.  He cooked our dinner out on the grill.

The list goes on and on.


This Week:

Pay close attention for opportunities to tell your hubby that he is your hero.

Get Out Your Pom-Poms

HubbyHubby loves, loves, loves football.

During game season, I make a good, honest effort to watch every game, right by his side.

I learn about HubbyHubby's favorite team and his favorite players, celebrate with him when his team wins, and I'm sad when they lose.

HubbyHubby loves to have nachos or Sloppy Joes on game day, so I'm always planning ahead for his favorite meals.

I'm interested in the games and listen to everything he has to say about them.

I adapt to HubbyHubby.

Weather it's football, "Star Trek," scuba diving, sports, video games, biking, movies--whatever it is--we adapt to our hubbies. Show a little interest.


What does your hubby love to do?

Get out your pom-poms and adapt to your hubby.

The Mother's Day Couch

On Mother's Day, HubbyHubby and the girls came home and surprised me with a brand new couch.

But it was NOT the couch I wanted; in fact, I hated it.

I smiled, clapped my hands, jumped up and down, threw my arms around HubbyHubby, kissed him, squeezed him, and thanked him with all my heart and soul.

HubbyHubby's heart and life and feelings are more important to me than any THING in this world.

The next time your hubby surprises you with something, can you remember to be thankful and love him up instead of tearing him down?

Playing with the Kids

HubbyHubby plays with the kids.

Thank God.

Thank God that he loves spending time with the kids. One: it's freeing. Two: It's a genuine characteristic of a man that turns me on. I love seeing the kiddos surround HubbyHubby and play--just play--and seeing all of them truly enjoying themselves, being with each other. I know I've got it good when I witness those precious moments.

And ladies... there's something paleo, primal, and basic-instinct about a man playing with your kids. I get all tingly. Honestly, it's a turn-on when HubbyHubby plays with the kids.

This Week:

When your hubby is playing with the kids, take a long look at that good man.

Top 3 Keys in Marriage

1.  Sex
2.  Finances
3.  Communication

There you have it.  HubbyHubby and I keep these three in check, and we are good.

1. Sex

HubbyHubby wants it eight times a week. My number is different than his. We talk it out, and decide (according to our proper arrangement) what works for our marriage. Yes, ladies. Men want sex all the time (unless they're eating or, in HubbyHubby's case, watching football).

Men between the ages 19 and 25 think about sex at least once every five minutes.
Men over 25 think about sex at least once every 10 minutes.*

We must give them what they need. What's the saying? "If you like the food being served from your kitchen, you don't need to eat out."

2. Finances

This is a big one. Decide on a budget. Review it weekly and monthly. Live within your means. Stick to it.

I like reading Dave Ramsey at http://www.daveramsey.com

3. Communication

Schedule time to talk every day. 
Talk about what is important to each of you. 
Talk about your goals, dreams and desires. 
Talk about your marriage. Talk about your week coming up. 
Talk about your plans for the day. 
Talk about sex. 
Not sure what to talk about? 
Try talking about finances. Ask, "Do we have a budget?" That'll start the ball rolling! 
Or try something more direct and simple: 
Try, "I love when you hold my hand." 
Or try, "I love when you make the bed in the morning while I'm in the shower." 
Or, "I love when you notice my outfit or my shoes." 
Or, "I love when you open the car door for me." 
Or, "I love when you snuggle up to me at night." 
"Do you like spooning? Or making a cuddlepuddle?" Communicate. 
And remember, men like short and sweet stuff. 
Give your hubby a yes-or-no question to answer: "Do you like it when I bite your earlobe?" That's an easy opener to communication. 
Talk. Talk to each other. Talk.


* Source: Fisher, T. D., Moore, Z. T., & Pittenger, M. (2012)

7 Words That Changed My Life

We have one vehicle, a huge Dodge Ram truck.  For me, it's very difficult to drive.

We've had it for five years, and each and every year, I've crashed into something while in reverse: a light pole, a Volkswagen, a Subaru, a Jaguar, a concrete wall in the parking garage.

And each and every time I go to HubbyHubby with great apologies, he says, "You can do no wrong, my love."

I've adopted the same thinking about him. 

He sometimes doesn't do things they way I expected or asked--buys the wrong laundry detergent, arrives late for a school event, pays a bill late, yadda-yadda-yadda.

I don't bitch, nag or complain.  I say to myself, "He can do no wrong."

This attitude keeps me thankful and keeps the peace.

The next time your hubby doesn't do something exactly the way you planned, try to say to yourself, "He can do no wrong."

My Hero

It was 98 degrees here in Boulder yesterday.

Around 6:30 p.m., HubbyHubby was upstairs relaxing on the loveseat and watching TV.

I went upstairs and sat next to him.

It was like an oven in that room.

I asked, "Baby, do you think it's hot up here?"

I'm not sure if he even answered me.

Next thing I know, he's outside at the air conditioner, washing the fins, then downstairs, then upstairs fiddling with vents, then in the utility room looking at the furnace and duct work.

At 9:00 p.m. in bed, I cuddle up and say, "Baby, it is so nice and cool up here now. Thanks for fixin' the AC. You are my hero."

It may have been a small task for him, but letting him know he is my hero makes him feel like a king.


The Fine Print:

When you follow my blog and treat your hubby like a king, he will move heaven and earth to make sure you're comfortable and happy, always.

Solution-Minded

This past week, I was very emotional and sad over a situation.

I went to HubbyHubby and cried and talked and talked and talked.

He immediately went into "solution mode" and started to help solve my problem.

I love him for trying to solve my situation, but what I needed was for him to listen.

Here's why:

• We are emotional and we love to talk it out.
• Men are black and white, and they love a mission to fix something.

When you need him to just listen and hold you, say just that: "Babe, I just need you to listen."

When you need a solution, ask him for one.

Tip:

Tell him about your problem, ask him to listen and provide a solution--tomorrow. That way, he'll really be listening, and he'll feel excited to be on a mission to solve your problem. And you have an entire day without being bothered by him trying to solve your problem.

Be clear.  Then, thank him for being your hero.

If He's Not Horny... Make Him a Sandwich

Men are simple, straightforward, and not complicated.

Their top wants are sex and food.

When I asked HubbyHubby how many days a week he would like to have sex, he said, "Eight." Without hesitation. Eight.

Eight? My number is different than his (eh, lower), but I always keep his number in mind... daily!

Lots of sex is the norm for most hubbies.


If he's not horny, make him a sandwich.

Happy Hour with Friends

How are we going to pay for it?

Tonight, I went out to celebrate a friend's birthday.

During happy hour with my friends, one gal told us all that she and her hubby were 100% out of debt.

Nice.

She said, "Yeah, I wanted to go on a cruise to celebrate my graduation and my degree, but my hubby said, 'How are we gonna pay for it?'"

She replied, "On a credit card."

He said, "No."

She said, "Okay. Yeah, you're right."


This Week:

Listen to your hubby.  Say, "Yes," and agree with his decisions and support him.

Don't sulk, bitch or nag about what you don't get or don't agree with.  He's probably been thinking about your shared, long-term financial goals for years. And an idea for a cruise that you just came up with simply might not be feasible.  By all means, tell him your celebration ideas. Don't hold back. But...

Remember, hubby makes the final decision.

Iron Man

While camping this weekend, there was lots of heavy stuff to haul in and out of the truck and cabin.

Some things I could lift, and some things I asked HubbyHubby to lift.

Husbands need to feel strong--not necessarily be strong, just feel strong.


This Week:

What strong, manly job can you ask your hubby to do for you?

Here are some ideas:

1. Ask him to move a heavy object for you, such as a heavy planter or a piece of furniture, like the bed. 
2. Ask him to move... no... lift the couch, so you can vacuum under it.
3. Ask your hubby to move something dirty, like a heavy rock or tree log out of the garden.
4. Ask him to take a heavy box out to the garage or basement for storage. Doesn't matter what's in it. Fill it with something. 

Then say, "Oh, baby, that box was so heavy. You are so strong. Thank you so much. Here's a cold drink."  Then give him a sweet kiss and a pat on the ass and say, "You're my iron man."  :)

I know what you're thinking.

It sounds like mistreatment. Or it may sound stupid, or just plain wrong. But men need to feel strong, and they need us to tell them that they are, because they are indeed.

How Do You Dress?

When HubbyHubby and I were dating, every outfit I wore was chosen with intentional effort.

I dressed to get and keep his attention.

Men are visual.

After 12 years of marriage, I keep up on my attractiveness for HubbyHubby.

Have you ever walked down the street and your hubby or other men turn their heads to look at a pretty woman?

Be that woman.

Dress nice for your hubby.  Choose and lay out your outfits the night before.

Too many of us let our appearance go, especially when we become mothers.

Question:

Remember when you were a sexy wife, before you were a mother?

HubbyHubby Handy Man

When something around the house breaks or leaks, I call HubbyHubby. He's good at those things. And I think that's sexy.

If HubbyHubby wasn't in my life, my house would be crap, or I'd be broke from calling service contractors.

Now, don't get me wrong. HubbyHubby is a fully-equipped man. A man's man. He can do all things. But let me tell you, when he fixes something, especially something I broke, I think it's... well... sexy.

And I tell him. "Babe, thank you so much for fixing that for me. I love you. And... I like that hammer you got."

Two things good happened just then. HubbyHubby is pumped up, and the house is back in order.

It may be a cliché, but I love my handy-HubbyHubby. I love that he can do things, things I can't. And that I can do things, things he can't. But, in general, around the house, HubbyHubby takes care of things. And that's a man.

Ladies... do you appreciate the things HubbyHubby takes care of? If you do, show it.